First novel in the Super Santa Holiday Series
// by Mookie Spitz & Rusty Yunusoff
The Romance of Jack & Diane
Jack and Diane fall in lust at a party on Valentine's Day, and by Christmas Eve move in together, taking along their teenage kids Emily and Tommy.A mixed race, non-married couple, the lovers are welcomed to their new suburban neighborhood with flowers, an apple pie, and a loaded machine gun.With the holidays always stressful, the hybrid family wonders if living together is really such a good idea? May all their Christmas wishes come true, all of them hand-illustrated!
The Dirty Martini & Malt Liquor Couple
Jack loses his wife to cancer, and Diane loses her husaband to assholism. Both lovers are forlorn and jaded, skeptical they'll ever love again -- until, of course, they do, and each other.When they least expected it, they got it! And at a "Lonely Hearts" Valentine's Day party for chronically single people, no less. Diane ran into Jack, or did Jack run into Diane?That depends on whom you ask. What they'll both agree on 100% is they felt lust at first sight, leading to an amazing first night, and the feeling they'd found their true loves.
Two Peas in an Interracial Pod
Jack is Black, Diane is half Caucasian-Asian, and neither of them give a shit. Their delicious chemistry triggered their relationship, and an uncanny sense of comfort and familiarity sustained it.Beneath the bliss, though, lurks their classic anxious-avoidant attachment styles -- can you guess which is which, who is who? Jack runs, and Diane chases. Surprise!Opposites attract, and in bed go wild. But when vertical again the dynamic tension has nowhere to go. After Jack is figuratively and literally bailed out, they want to break up. Instead...
Move In Together & Ruin a Relationship
Doubling then tripling down on a first mistake is always a bad idea, but that doesn't stop Jack and Diane! Instead of noticing the yellow and red flags, they just see waving flags, woohoo!Not only do they move in together, but they move in together with their kids. And not only do they move in together with their kids, but they move in together with their kids on Xmas Eve.Q.: What could go wrong? A.: Everything! Q.: Does it? A.: It sure does, and in droves! Too late to break up, but too early to figure things out, the family does their best to survive the holiday.
Kids Make It Even More Complicated
Jack's daughter Emily is 9, and Diane's son Tommy is 13. Only children from broken homes, their parents try to fix things but end up causing more problems than they ever had before.The core source of their issues? Video games: Tommy, Emily, and Jack love them, and Diane despises them, pitting her against the rest of her new family. Spoiler alert: Diane kicks Jack's ass.Finally getting the kids to bed, their parents make peace. Down the hall, Tommy and Emily can't sleep, eagerly awaiting Santa and his presents. Better be the next superhero video game!
Friendly Neighbors Welcome Them All
Their first day in the upscale DC suburban neighborhood, Jack and Diane are greeted, each in their own way: Diane is brought an enormous bouquet and fresh apple pie from the housewife next door, while her vigilante racist husband tracks Jack with an AK.Not the first time for Jack, he not only keeps his cool but wins the guy over. Proving himself street savvy and a loving father, he turns Diane on, even though all she wants to do is "fix" him.Deep down, Jack wants to be taken care of, and Diane wants to care for him. But of course their gargantuan egos get in the way, alongside their very different upbringings and expectations.
Diane Stands (and Sits) By Her Man
Despite their neverending posturing and fighting, Jack loves Diane to the depth of his soul, and Diane is there for Jack every time he freaks out. Without even realizing it, the lovers love in circles.Will their relationship last? Love, after all, isn't enough. They both realize that the kids will tear them apart, or glue them together. The decision to move in was spontaneous, but it's going to take work.Emily, Jack's daughter, wants to be part of a happy family more than anything. She reminds them of the Spirit of Christmas, and hopes Santa will fulfill her wish for Jack and Diane to marry.
"Ho, ho, ho!" Santa is Already On His Way...
But Santa Claus has his own troubles, including trying to pick the right Xmas outfit from dozens of identical others, and ignore his trusted Elf, who keeps pushing an Apple Watch on him.Santa doesn't like anything new, let alone any new fangled tech. After all, he's been doing the same thing for centuries, and everything's been just great, thank you very much.Little does Santa and the whole North Pole crew realize, though, but this Christmas is going to be the weirdest and wildest holiday ever. And guess which family is at the center of it all?
Join the Blended Family for a Mixed Up Xmas!
Will Jack & Diane make it through their first holiday season together? Will Santa grant Emily's wish for a happy family? Will Santa grant Tommy's wish for a superhero video game?The Romance of Jack & Diane is the first novel of the hand-illustrated Super Santa series. The books are terrific stocking stuffers for Secret Santa and White Elephant parties!Collect all three novels, or go gangbusters with the phonebook-sized anthology. All are written and drawn using zero AI to help you celebrate old school storytelling this holiday season!
